Chalk it up to?
by dwparsnip
Summary: Laura Cadman asks McKay a simple question. Too bad nothing is ever simple in Atlantis.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Stargate Atlantis or any of its characters. They belong to someone else.

Any and all reviews are appreciated, whether they are positive, negative or indifferent.

Spoilers…not that I know of really. Maybe for "McKay and Mrs. Miller."

Has not been run through its paces by a beta, so all typos, errors, omissions and boo boos are mine and mine alone.

Thanks to Canadian Crow for the summary. I suck at writing them and he doesn't. Thanks for your great suggestions, CC.

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Dr. Rodney McKay was awake, though for the life of him he couldn't open his eyes. He had regained consciousness several times since the incident, but this time he seemed able to fight off the drowsiness a little better.

He hadn't seen the hit that put him in this eerie situation, but he could still remember the blast hitting him in the upper back, right between the shoulder blades. That memory worried him for a moment. He couldn't feel any pain and he was awake, but he couldn't open his eyes. _"Great, I'm dead. Am I dead?"_ he thought. _"No, I'm not dead…at least not yet."_ He was still lying on his left side, both of his arms in front of him and from the snippets of conversations he had heard earlier and the all too familiar constantly beeping noises, he knew he was in the Infirmary of Atlantis.

Again.

No, he never saw the blast hit him, it was his back that got hit after all (and despite some of the grumbling of his staff he did not have eyes in the back of his head.) He did, however, know it was coming…he saw the attacker aim the weapon and he saw the telltale muzzle flash. In fact, he stepped in front of it intentionally. And in the eternity between making the snap decision to do it and the blast actually hitting him, McKay had tried to disseminate the reasoning behind his perilous course of action.

His upbringing? In some miniscule way, perhaps.

His Canadian inferiority complex? Perhaps it was that classic and often misunderstood 'complex' that forced him to jump in front of someone and take a plasma blast to the back, trying to prove something. Maybe a little bit, but not the primary source for his action.

Chivalry? Perhaps, partly at least. A part of him thought that perhaps he would have done it if the person he had saved were a male instead of a female, but it simply wasn't true, though there were perhaps a few males he would take a bullet for. Sheppard naturally, he was perhaps the best friend he ever had (not that he would admit it to him though). Carson maybe, who had also become a good friend. Einstein and Newton of course, for obvious reasons.

His scientist nature maybe? One of the reasons he became a scientist, besides his extraordinarily enormous IQ, was to do and create things to help people. That was the whole aim of being a scientist wasn't it, to help mankind?

Those things, along with the very short conversation they had in the gate room before they left for the mission may have contributed to his actions, but he knew the truth of the matter. The truth, he realized as the charge hit his back, was that he couldn't stand to see the woman he had shielded get hurt. It didn't matter that she had shared his body for a while, or that she had an unnerving penchant for driving him nuts…nope, didn't matter at all.

He cared for her, though he never admitted it to anyone except Sheppard. Maybe it was the familiarity brought on by their shared body experience, or the fact that she so easily put up his constant snide and rude remarks. Maybe it was the fact that she gave him a run for his money in that department. Anyway, he cared for her, a lot, and he wanted to see her happy and safe. He was almost disappointed when her relationship with Carson didn't work out. Carson's a good man.

Then again, ever since she decided to stay on Atlantis he couldn't stop thinking about her, especially considering the fact that she seemed to be working in the control room whenever he was there. He was royally confused by their continual banter. One minute he would be on the verge wanting to do nothing except be around her and be with her and…do things with and to her, while in the next minute he would want nothing more but to strangle her. He was pretty sure it was the same for her.

Okay…he was pretty sure she wanted to strangle him more than be with him.

Oh well, chalk it up to the drugs.

He had been visited by each of his coworkers and team mates…his friends…and for that he was genuinely touched, despite the fact that to him their visits and their over positive demeanors indicated that perhaps he was in serious trouble. None of them said anything to indicate just how serious his condition was, but he could tell that they were trying hard to sound upbeat. If it weren't serious they wouldn't be trying so hard to sound so positive. Would they?

Carson had been in of course…he was the doctor, but he took several minutes (at least he thought it was minutes) to talk to him as a friend and not a doctor. Elizabeth, Sheppard, Teyla, Ronon and Zelenka had all stopped by, their visiting times varying from what he considered considerable to minute. The longest time spent award was shared between Elizabeth and Sheppard with the shortest time going to Ronon. That was what he expected. Ronon was less of a touchy feely type of guy than he was.

The gravity of his situation became apparent when Carson told his gathered friends about his condition. Rodney was too tired to listen to the whole Scottish accented and overly technical prognosis. The part he paid attention to was that Carson believed that it was up to him…to Rodney…to pull out of this. Rodney needed to fight and get better. McKay's first thought to that was what a crock! Rodney was a scientist, and as such he placed little faith in the theory that his will had the power to heal him. Science would fix him…medicine and medical procedures.

Or he could just chalk it up to the drugs.

He heard Carson tell the nurse that he was going to his quarters for the night and that she was to call him immediately if Rodney's condition changed at all. _"So it's late"_, thought Rodney. _"Oh well, maybe a little beauty rest would be good for me…"_

He heard footsteps, presumably Carson's, fade away. The room became silent and Rodney was just about to let himself drift off to sleep when a noise brought him back to his senses, dulled as they were. He could have sworn that he heard someone brush the curtain, but he listened and listened but couldn't hear anything else.

Chalk it up to the drugs.

He was just about to once again surrender to the need for sleep when his mind was again startled back to life…this time by a touch. Someone slipped his or her hand underneath his right hand. He could feel this person's hand close gently around his own, and he realized that the hand was smaller than his own, making it a woman's hand most likely. _"Hah…deductive faculties still in working order, hmn?"_

For a split second a bolt of fear shot into his chest, but it quickly dissipated. He was in the Infirmary, safe and sound. The woman's hand held his, and strangely enough the more he felt this person's warm touch the safer he felt. He could sense through the physical contact that this person would not harm him. He could feel that this person was his friend and that she cared for him. He knew that touch and he hoped, prayed that he was right. A moment later his prayers were answered when her identity was revealed by her voice.

"Hello Rodney." Laura Cadman's voice was terribly quiet, and its being void of sarcasm momentarily threw him for a loop. He could also tell that she was trying very hard to keep her voice strong…to keep it from faltering. "Carson says that you'll be back to your annoying self in no time."

_"Liar, liar pants on fire"_, recited Rodney to himself, amused at the levity in his inner voice.

Something else to chalk up to the drugs.

He felt her hand tighten around his and he felt a surge of warmth travel from his fingertips, up his arm and into his body. "Why did you do it, Rodney?" Her voice faltered despite her efforts and he could, as strange as it sounded, hear the tears in her voice. "Why did you step in front of me?" He heard her sniffle and he realized she was crying.

This wasn't good.

"It was my job to protect **you**, not the other way around. How could you screw that up? How could you possibly think that it was your job to protect me?" Her hand squeezed his again and her voice had an angry tinge in it. "How, with that supposedly superior intellect, did you come to the loopy conclusion that I am more important to Atlantis than you are?"

That thought never occurred to him actually, which was a little frightening considering he believed himself to be absolutely essential to the proper functioning of the city. Still, it was Cadman. Perhaps, he admitted to himself, that he considered her safety more important than his and that she was at least as important to him as Atlantis was…and is loopy even a word? Yes it is…and a funny sounding one at that.

"I can't wait for you to get out of here so I can kick your ass." She was beginning to sound a little pissed at him. That was hardly surprising…why should today be any different than any other day? Life threatening wounds shouldn't alter that should it?

"Damn it, Rodney…look at me when I'm yelling at you!" Her voice fell to a whisper as she added a single word, one that he couldn't remember hearing from her before, and if he had it certainly wasn't as genuine as it was right now. "Please."

The snide and what some would call childish part of his brain balked at the idea until a couple of thoughts occurred to him. One, he wasn't mad at her for any reason, other than her being so incredibly adept at getting under his skin. She never asked him to do anything that would result in an extended stay as Carson's guinea pig, that much was certain. Two, he literally couldn't open his eyes, and it was then that he realized that despite his pretense at not wanting to see her, he had been trying very hard since she took his hand to do just that…look at her.

He wanted to open his eyes so that she could see that he was fine, so that she wouldn't worry (she sounded very concerned after all) and so she would know that he harbored no ill will towards her at all. And maybe, just maybe, she would see something in his eyes that he hadn't been able to say with his usually over active mouth, or even admit to himself quite yet.

He felt her lips as they ever so softly touched his forehead. He never thought something so gentle as a kiss could send shockwaves through him from his forehead to his toes, which he now realized were uncovered for some reason and bordering on being frostbitten. He put it out of his mind.

Her lips brushed lightly against his forehead as she spoke to him. "Rodney, do you remember our conversation in the gate room?"

He did indeed, and he remembered talking to Sheppard…

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He walked towards the gate and saw her. "Cadman", he said in the slightly surprised and annoyed tone he reserved exclusively for her. "What are you doing here?"

Lt. Laura Cadman winced inwardly and hoped that it didn't show on the outside, not that the doofus would notice it anyway. She checked the sights on her P90 by aiming the weapon at the floor, made sure the safety was on before she decided risk a court-martial by doing something stupid to McKay and replied as though she were stating the obvious, which of course was what she was doing. It always irritated him. "I'm getting ready to go through the gate, Rodney."

Rodney rolled his eyes and then looked at her with something akin to forced tolerance. "Yes, I can see that, Cadman. What I mean is why are you going through the gate?" His head turned to the left and right rapidly as he looked around and asked, "Where's Ronon?"

Cadman sighed…loudly. "I have no idea, Rodney. All I know is that Col. Sheppard told me Ronon couldn't go on this mission and he asked if I could go along." She looked at him with a mischievous smile and added, "Said something about most of the other soldiers already wanting to shoot you as it is." She walked past him to go and ask Sheppard something, giving him her patented 'I know I drive you insane' stare.

He was about to chase after her to argue the point when Zelenka marched up to him with a strangely curious look on his face, muttering something in Czech. He didn't say an intelligible word as he handed Rodney a PDA and for the third time in two hours, he explained to his colleague exactly what it was he wanted done.

Rodney finished with Zelenka and turned to release some of his pent up frustration on Cadman. She was still talking to Sheppard, probably making a last ditch effort to get out of going on the mission, or thanking the Colonel for yet another opportunity to drive him bonkers. Sheppard had a mean streak in him for sure. He took a step towards her and she did the damnedest thing he had ever seen: she looked over to him and smiled. He brought up solid when he saw it. It wasn't her usual teasing smile, or the oft used 'get over yourself' smile. It wasn't even her 'you're an idiot' smile. It was a happy, even warm smile apparently zeroed in on him.

He resisted the urge to turn around to see who behind him was the real target of her apparent affection. It looked good on her, and for whatever reason it was agreeable to have her smiling at him in that fashion. Before he knew it he was feeling the unfamiliar and slightly tingly feeling of a genuine smile on his own face.

She finished with Sheppard and walked slowly over to him, her eyes lowered to the floor. When she reached him, she looked up and said quietly, "Rodney, I…I'd like to talk to you when we come back. There's a question I have a question to ask you."

If he didn't know better he would have said that she was nervous as hell. "I'll try to fit you into my busy schedule, Cadman. Let's see…maybe between Carson practicing his voodoo on me, checking to see what kind of disaster Zelenka has made of my perfectly detailed experiment and the thousand other things I have to do. No problem."

She never looked away from him, ignoring the sarcasm and the biting nature of his tone without so much as flinching.

It was then that he saw the seriousness in her beautiful hazel eyes. _"When did her eyes become beautiful?"_, he asked himself. She opened her mouth twice without saying anything.

Then, as the gate started to dial, she stepped closer to him so she didn't have to shout over the noise for him to hear her. "Rodney, I'll give you advanced warning of my question, give you a little while to think about it." She looked him squarely in the eyes and asked, "How do you feel about me?"

"Seriously Cadman, I'm not sure I'm going to have the time to…what?" He didn't mean for his eyes to open wider than saucers, nor did he mean for that last word to come out as a squeak. He certainly didn't mean for his mouth to open and close several times without saying a word. The question caught him completely off guard. "Cadman…how do I…well, I…"

The gate came to life with the familiar explosion and then the normal shimmer of the event horizon.

Cadman smiled nervously, brought up her weapon and walked past him whispering, "Think about it, Rodney."

He watched her step through the event horizon and commanded his feet to move…a command which they disobeyed, sending the message back to his brain that the command had been complete and utter gibberish.

He vaguely noted Sheppard approach the Stargate and stop just short of stepping through. It wasn't until Sheppard's slightly annoyed voice broke through the shock-induced fog that he snapped himself out of it.

"You coming, Rodney, or are you going to catch the next wormhole?"

Rodney shook his head and rushed up to the Stargate, nearly jumping through it to make up for the seconds that he already lost.

An hour later Sheppard walked up to him with a little half smile on his lips.

"Rodney, I'm pretty sure that that particular rock has zero potential on the power source-o-meter." His voice held more than a little amusement in it.

Rodney looked up at Sheppard then back to the scanner he had in his hand. "What? Sorry, Colonel. I was checking…that is I thought I had a reading…", he looked up to Sheppard again, "…sorry."

Sheppard narrowed his eyes and gave the smartest man he had ever met a once over. Rodney was a little more pale than usual, which by itself wasn't telling. What was telling was that he was pale and he wasn't complaining about it. Rodney looked distracted and unsure of himself, two things Rodney very seldom was when they were looking for power readings. Then of course he had apologized twice in a matter of twenty seconds, odd to say the least. It was then that John saw the clincher: the scanner Rodney had in his hand was upside down.

He cleared his throat to keep from laughing. "You are seriously distracted, Rodney. What's on your mind?"

"Nothing. I'm fine." McKay stood up quickly and when he spoke again his voice was a little higher than usual. "Besides, what makes you think I'm distracted, hmnn?"

Sheppard grinned, reached over, took the scanner from Rodney's hand, turned it right side up and gave it back to him.

Rodney's eyes darted from Sheppard to the scanner in his hand, to the ruins, back to Sheppard and so on for almost a minute.

Sheppard couldn't remember the last time he saw Rodney in such a way. He put his left hand on the scientist's shoulder to try to calm him down. Luckily it had the desired effect and Rodney looked at him.

Whatever was bothering Rodney was most likely either embarrassing or personal, so when John asked again what the problem was his voice was soft. "It's okay, Rodney. What's the trouble?"

Rodney opened his mouth to protest that there was in fact nothing wrong with him, but Sheppard narrowed his eyes at him forestalling the attempted dodge.

Rodney's shoulders slumped and his eyes looked down towards Sheppard's boots.

Sheppard looked around to make sure that no one was around, but saw that there were a couple of people that could easily wander within earshot. He lowered his hand from Rodney's shoulder down to his bicep, then turned and gently pushed him away from the others. He fell into step beside Rodney as he kept walking, and when they were far enough away from the group, Rodney turned to his team leader and friend.

Rodney wasn't sure if Sheppard was the right person to talk to about this, but that thought was quickly vanquished. John Sheppard was as close to his best friend as it got. Besides, who else was there? Kavanagh?

Yeah right!

"It's Cadman", Rodney said with a hint of desperation.

John laughed and breathed an audible sigh of relief. "Cadman? Is that all? Damn Rodney, you had me worried there for a minute. I thought it was something seri…" His thought was cut off by Rodney's insistent head shaking.

"No", he whispered loudly and increasing the torque on the grip he had on the scanner. He took a quick look around to make sure they were alone. "You know she and Carson aren't seeing each other anymore right?" When John nodded Rodney went on. "Well, she asked me before we left how I feel about her."

John had a small smile on his face and he opened his eyes a little as he said, "And this has you freaked out because…?"

Rodney closed his eyes and moaned in agonizing frustration. "I think she might want to, you know, get together or something."

John's smile widened as he repeated, "And this has you freaked out because…?"

"Colonel!"

Sheppard put his hand back on Rodney's shoulder. "Look Rodney. It's a simple question she's asking you. How do you feel about her?"

Rodney shrugged his shoulders and sighed. "I don't know. I've been analyzing…"

Sheppard held up his hand. "Whoa, whoa, whoa there big guy", said John with obvious amusement in his voice. "You can't analyze that, Rodney. You can't study charts, look in a book or experiment with your feelings. You can't run computer simulations to see how everything will pan out or what the probabilities are. This, Dr. Meredith Rodney McKay, is a question that can only be answered by your heart…not your head." Sheppard, imminently satisfied that he made his point, folded his arms across his chest, though he never took his hand off his P90.

Rodney opened his mouth, but for one of the very few times in his adult life he didn't know what to say.

Sheppard just looked at Rodney and waited. He was enjoying this. Not so much that his friend was suffering through what for him was apparently a very trying time, but seeing Rodney so bent out of shape over it was just a tad hilarious, especially when it affected him so much that it never even fizzed on him that he called him 'Meredith'. "Let me ask you this. Does she irritate the hell out of you?"

Rodney gave Sheppard a funny look, the type of look that said that he just told Rodney that the sun was hot. "You have got to be kidding. You know she does."

"Yes, but is it in a good way or bad way? Is it she irritates you to the point where you want to drop her off the North tower or is it she irritates you to the point where you look forward to when she does it?"

Rodney looked over to Cadman off in the distance then back to Sheppard. "The latter."

"Do you think about her, even when she's not around?"

Rodney simply nodded.

"Do you touch her every chance you get, even if it's just to gently move her out of your way and she's not really in your way?"

Rodney simply nodded again.

"Would you miss her if something happened to her or she left?"

Rodney's eyes opened wide in fear as the thought of Cadman being gone or hurt entered his mind. Again though, he simply nodded.

John was surprised by Rodney's reaction. _"I'll be damned"_, thought the Colonel, _"there's hope for you yet, Rodney. Oh well, chalk up to the full moon."_ He looked up towards the sky and added, _"Or is it moons around here?"_ He looked back to his friend.

"Do you care about her, Rodney?"

Again with the nodding.

"Rodney, do you ever wonder what it would be like to kiss her?"

Rodney's eyes shot to Sheppard's, but he still only nodded.

Sheppard decided to jump off the cliff with the next one. "Last one, Rodney, but it's the big one, and I'm going to need more than a nod. Do you like her?"

Rodney turned his head enough to be able to see Cadman again. She was talking to Teyla not far from where his conversation with Sheppard began. "Yes…yes I do. I mean…yes."

"So tell her", said John as though he just ran a marathon that he didn't have to, and really didn't want to.

"But what about Carson?", squeaked Rodney. He cleared his throat and elaborated. "When Carson and Cadman got together I was happy for them…"

That didn't sound like Rodney to Sheppard.

"…well I wasn't really happy for them. I never really paid them much attention at first..."

That sounded more like Rodney to Sheppard.

"…but the more I saw them together and the more she started to drive me nuts the more I started to…think about her." He looked to Sheppard with a look that was somewhere between a 'deer caught in the headlight' look and the look you'd find on a child after being caught with their hands in the cookie jar. "Isn't that wrong somehow? Carson is my friend, Sheppard."

"Look Rodney. Beckett and Cadman broke up, for whatever reason. Does it really matter? She's a great soldier, a wonderful person and, might I add, a very beautiful woman." As an after thought he added, "And rumor has it she's quite the card shark." Rodney didn't seem amused so he went on before the scientist could lambaste him. "She's asked you how you feel about her right?" Sheppard tapped Rodney's chest with the back of his right hand. "She's asking for a reason, so tell her how you feel. I guarantee you will not regret it."

Rodney looked like he had his leg caught in a bear trap. "I'm really not used to this sort…"

An explosion in the distance interrupted what he was saying, along with everything else.

Sheppard pointed towards the gate. "Get back to the gate. Now!" Then he headed towards the explosion at a run.

Rodney scrambled to get going, pausing five seconds to grab his gear. A minute later he was by the gate with Teyla and Cadman, both of whom had their weapons raised scanning the distance looking for any signs of hostile threats.

"What's going on?", demanded Rodney.

It was Teyla that answered the obvious. "We are under attack."

"Attack", repeated Rodney. "Who?"

"We don't know", responded Cadman as she flashed him a quick look.

Gunfire and some sort of other noise that they assumed was also weapons fire could be heard off beyond the ruins they had been investigating, compelling Cadman and Teyla to point their weapons in that direction.

Sheppard's voice came over their earpieces. 'All units fall back to the gate! Teyla. What's your position?'

Teyla spoke clearly into her comm. Clarity was most definitely required in such a situation. "I am by the Stargate, Colonel. The engineering team, Lt. Cadman and Dr. McKay are here as well." Before he could ask she added, "There are no signs of any attackers here…yet."

'Dial the gate and tell Elizabeth the situation and that we're coming in hot. Send Rodney the engineers through and prepare to lay down some cover fire. The rest of us will be there in less than a minute. Sheppard out.'

Rodney was already dialing the gate, and after the wormhole stabilized the engineers went through and Teyla reported the situation to the control room.

True to his word, Sheppard and the rest of the team ran towards the gate half a minute later. The two geologists and their security escorts ran on through followed by Teyla after getting the nod from Sheppard. Cadman and Sheppard took up defensive positions on either side of the gate. Sheppard vaguely noted with interest that Rodney hovered closer to Cadman's side.

"You're next, McKay!", shouted Sheppard as he scanned the distance for any hostiles.

Rodney was about to step through the gate when he saw a man out by the ruins. He was raising a weapon of some sort and pointing it at Cadman. He saw the muzzle flash and stepped in front of her, turning as he did so that he faced Cadman. The charge hit him and he fell forward into Cadman, who threw her arms around him to keep him upright. She had the most mortified expression on her face he had ever seen.

He could hear Sheppard yelling at her to get him through the gate, and a moment later he felt the familiar dematerialization and rematerialization sequence. The last thing he remembered before passing out was seeing the tears in Cadman's eyes as she lowered him to the deck on Atlantis and thinking, _"Wow…she is very beautiful…"_

Tbc…eventually


	2. Chapter 2

Any people trained in medicine who read this, don't laugh too hard and keep in mind that I'm an amateur writer with no medical expertise whatsoever.

I'd love to hear what you think about this. If you like it, or if you don't, or if you just don't care, let me know.

Thanks go to L.E McMurray for looking this over for me. Read her stuff, you won't be sorry. (As an aside, I added a little more to it after L.E finished, so there may still be some mistakes in here and they shouldn't be held against her. ;))

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Rodney came back to his current predicament, after the final memory of thinking that Cadman was beautiful played out. It was then that he discovered that coming back to reality with Cadman, Laura, kissing his forehead was one of the most pleasant things he had ever felt. He didn't even mind that her long strawberry blond hair was tickling his cheek…at least he didn't mind too much.

He was about to chalk it up to the drugs, but he knew that there was more than Carson's potions to it.

Laura pressed her lips softly against Rodney's forehead and held onto his hand with a gentle force that she didn't even know that she possessed. She had asked Rodney if he remembered their gate room conversation, and while she didn't really expect him to just miraculously open his eyes and answer her, she wasn't opposed to hoping for exactly that. She'd even pray if she had to, though it had been that long since she had last prayed for anything, that she wasn't sure if she could remember how, or if there was even a right way to do it.

The soft sound of the privacy curtain being pushed aside caused Cadman to quickly straighten up on the stool she was sitting on. For a moment, a very quick second, she thought about releasing his hand and placing her hands neatly upon her lap, but only for an instant. She didn't want to let him go; she wouldn't let him go and as she took a deep breath, she realized that she couldn't let him go.

The night nurse, Nurse Crane, stopped in her tracks when she noticed Cadman sitting there. Her surprise at finding anyone there at that time of night, and with that particular patient (and holding his hand no less), was obvious in her wide brown eyes, open mouth and the fact that she had frozen with her hand still on the curtain.

Cadman almost laughed at the comical image, but the chill still emanating from Rodney's lifeless hand quickly quashed any chance of levity. She couldn't even manage a smile at the nurse, instead opting to look down to Rodney's face and wish once again to be able to see the bright blue eyes she had come to…adore.

"You really shouldn't be here, Lieutenant," Crane said without any real admonition in her inflection.

Cadman read the lack of seriousness in Crane's voice and looked at her. Three seconds after she made eye contact with the nurse, Crane's eyes softened considerably and a knowing smile came to her lips. Laura didn't know exactly what Crane saw to make her disposition soften so, but she was glad that the nurse saw whatever it was, and understood what it meant. _"Chalk it up to female intuition and camaraderie,"_ she thought gratefully.

Not catching the exchange between Crane and Cadman visually, and being a typical male and missing the nurse's verbal undertones, Rodney thought, _"Oh come on. I'm probably dying here and you want this beautiful woman holding a vigil for me to leave? What kind of person would…did I just say beautiful woman? I did, didn't I? Well, she is, even Sheppard said so…even I said so for that matter…well, I thought it anyway."_ His thoughts ended abruptly when he heard the nurse move.

Crane nodded at Cadman and moved in to check on Rodney, glancing at the monitors to confirm what she had seen moments earlier on the monitors at her desk. Satisfied that they were identical, she moved in closer to examine Rodney's back. She leaned down and meticulously studied the dressing covering the wound. Deciding that there was no need to change anything, the nurse stood up and walked towards the curtain. As she reached for the curtain to give Rodney and Cadman their privacy, Cadman spoke.

"It's pretty serious, isn't it?" she asked with a voice that she herself would have described as child like. Something to chalk up to being scared shitless.

The fear in her voice caused waves of guilt to wash over Rodney. Not so much that he really felt guilty, he did possibly save her life for crying out loud, but the knowledge that he was the cause of such pain for her, albeit indirectly, was killing him. _"Pardon the pun,"_ he thought with an inward chuckle.

Damn drugs.

Crane turned around and looked at Cadman, obviously torn between giving her the hope she so desperately desired and telling her the truth. A soft sigh escaped from Crane's lips and she responded truthfully.

"Yes, Lieutenant," she said almost apologetically, "it is very serious." She moved a couple of steps back towards Rodney's bed and let her gaze fall to the covered wound on Rodney's back. "Whatever hit him was very nasty. It was something akin to the stun weapon that the Wraith use, but instead of incapacitating the victim like the stunner, the weapon that Dr. McKay was shot with was designed specifically to kill." She looked up and gave Cadman an angry look, though Cadman knew the anger wasn't directed at her. "The plasma like charge initially causes a severe wound on the body, then immediately limits the body's ability to stop itself from bleeding through the wound by neutralizing the platelets that are near the injury. Without those platelets, the blood doesn't clot and the victim bleeds to death. The result is a very slow, and painful, death due to massive blood loss."

Laura clutched Rodney's hand harder out of pure reflex, careful not to jostle the IV she only then really noticed was connected to him. She regarded the IV for a second, and followed the clear tube along the edge of his bed until it left to seemingly float through the air to the IV pump, which she also hadn't noticed earlier. No longer able to bear the sight of the equipment, and afraid to look on further to see what else she had missed, she looked down to his face, feeling her stomach lurch at the pastiness of his skin.

"If it's any consolation, Lieutenant," added Crane hastily, "Dr. McKay's bleeding has finally stopped." The nurse held in her smile as Cadman's head snapped up to look at her. Cadman's watery eyes locked onto hers, begging for any good news that she could give. "This is the first time I've been in to check on him all evening that I didn't have to change his bandage. And Dr. Beckett believes that the vest that Dr. McKay was wearing limited not only the size and depth of the initial injury, but it limited how much of the anti-platelet plasma entered into the wound." Crane smiled warmly and tilted her head slightly to one side. "You know Dr. McKay pretty well don't you?"

_"She was inside my head and now she's sitting here holding my hand,"_ groused Rodney. _"What do you think?"_

At Cadman's affirming nod, the nurse let her smile turn into a smirk and said confidently, "Then you know that Dr. McKay is too stubborn to give up."

_"Hey!"_ exclaimed an indignant Rodney so loudly in his mind that it seemed to echo in his ears. _"I prefer tenacious if you don't mind! Why doesn't it surprise me that one of Carson's minions doesn't appreciate…"_

"I don't think he's stubborn," Cadman said softly as she gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "I think he's tenacious. There's a difference."

Even inner Rodney was speechless.

Crane smiled at Cadman again and conceded her point. "You may be right. If you need anything or if his condition changes, buzz me and I'll be right in, though if anything changes I should see it on the monitor anyway." When Cadman acknowledged her with a nod, the nurse left, pulling the curtain across as she left.

"Did you hear that, Rodney?" asked Cadman quietly. Her left hand moved to caress his cheek and she leaned down and settled so that her nose was nearly touching his. "Even the night nurse thinks you're too stubborn to let go, so you've got to pull out of this."

_"I thought you said I was tenacious,"_ thought Rodney with some amusement. _"Make up your mind, Cadman. You know…" _He stopped when he heard a deep and shaky sigh come from the lips of the woman holding his hand.

"Tenacious," amended Cadman. "You're too tenacious to give up. I've seen you go hours without food or sleep to save our collective asses; I've seen you do things that no astrophysicist has ever done, or should have to do, for that matter; I've seen you do and think of impossible things, Rodney, win against impossible odds, and you can win this one too." Her voice cracked with the overwhelming emotions rolling inside her as she added quietly, "You just have to try harder."

Rodney listened to Laura's speech with a mixture of pride and sorrow. He was proud of everything he had accomplished, the things he had done and the lives he had saved. There were failures, of course, but all in all he was proud of what he had been able to do under the conditions he had to endure. And on a little more of a selfish note, the way that Laura said those words showed him how much she thought of it, how much she thought of him, which in turn made him feel that much more better about his accomplishments. _"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,"_ thought Rodney in a very rare philosophical moment. _"Does that mean that there is no heaven like a woman's adoration? And if so, am I in heaven? And if I am in heaven am I dead?"_ He shook his head internally. _"I've already established that I'm not dead. Keep up with things, Rodney."_

Getting back to his pride and sorrow train of thought, he was saddened to realize that even his…tenacity…might not get him through this tough time.

"It was supposed to be a cakewalk," said Cadman with an element of disbelief in her voice. "It was supposed to be a simple survey..."

She closed her eyes, took a moment and ran over the sequence of events in her head for what had to be the millionth time since coming back to Atlantis. She and Teyla were walking near the edge of the ruins, chatting about nothing in particular while keeping an eye on the engineering team as they went over some crude mechanical devices that they had found. It was a beautiful day and there was no reason to suspect anything untoward would happen. Intel reports said the planet was abandoned. There were no signs of recent activity around the gate. Absolutely no reason at all for suspicion.

They should have known better.

Teyla stopped to answer a question from one of the engineers. She in turn had stopped beside Teyla and noticed that Rodney and Colonel Sheppard had moved off and were having what seemed to be a very interesting conversation. Rodney looked like he was lost and Sheppard was trying to help. It wasn't a surprising sight. She knew that they were friends, good friends.

Finally Rodney looked like he was feeling better and Sheppard looked, well he looked pleased with the whole situation.

She had just wondered if Rodney's distress was as a result of the question she had asked him before leaving Atlantis when the first explosion rang out. A moment later Rodney was running towards the gate and Sheppard was going in the opposite direction to where the geology team was studying some rocks. She and Teyla herded the engineers toward the gate and a minute later Sheppard came running towards them with the geologists in tow. Then they started to head home.

Sheppard just told Rodney to go through the gate when he inexplicably stepped in front of her. She had to move her weapon away from him so she didn't accidentally shoot him in the chest. She was just about to snarl at him about it when she heard a God-awful sound: the sound of a high impact against a standard issue flak jacket.

That's when everything slowed down. She saw Rodney's eyes open wide in shock and what she now knew to be pain. His eyes, usually bright with that McKay patented arrogant confidence, dulled in a matter of milliseconds…she actually saw them fade as though a switch had been flipped and power to them was cut.

She released her weapon to let it dangle at her side and pushed her arms up underneath his so that he didn't fall to the ground. She was just about to call his name when Sheppard yelled at her to get Rodney through the gate. The instinct to follow that command voice took over and it took every ounce of strength she had to pull Rodney to the gate, but she did it. When she realized they were back on Atlantis, she lowered him as gently as she could to the deck and looked at him. Through her tear filled eyes, she saw that she was just in time to see his eyes close.

She was pretty sure she called out to him, but she couldn't say so with any certainty. It was then that the shock of the situation kicked in and she began to space out a little. As the emergency medical team moved in and took charge, someone moved her out of the way…for some reason Sheppard came to mind. Then she remembered feeling someone's arm go around her, and after several attempts at recovering the memory, she realized that it had been Dr. Weir.

Carson got the orderlies to gently roll Rodney over to look at his back, and the look of horror on Carson's face was terrifying, and not only to her. She felt Dr. Weir's arm tighten around her and with a quick glance to her right, she saw Sheppard's face instantly darken. She tried to pay attention to what Carson was saying as he examined Rodney, but the words were all in a jumble. All she got from it was the urgency and worry in his voice. That's what was sticking with her. The worry, no, the sheer panic in Carson's voice tore into her as if it were the plasma charge that should have hit her instead of Rodney. And there was all that blood…

She heard Carson swear profusely as he applied one sterile pad after another in an attempt to stem the bleeding, which indicated just how bad things were. Through all the time they had spent together and as well as they had gotten to know each other, it was the first time she had heard him swear like that. His commands to his staff were said with a low voice, but they moved the millisecond he gave them and in no time they had Rodney on a stretcher, heading to the infirmary with a speed that would have impressed most people. As soon as they were out of sight, her eyes fixated on the puddle of crimson on the floor, adorned with random patterns caused by clothing, debris and whatever else was there.

Weir's hand rubbed her arm and she looked at the expedition leader. Weir's eyes were sad and worried, but when she spoke her voice was soft and reassuring. "He'll be fine, Lieutenant."

It was a lie, Laura knew. Well, it wasn't so much a lie as it was an instance of hope. She didn't know if Rodney would make it. Weir didn't, and judging from the grim set of Carson's features he didn't either. No one knew how it would turn out.

Laura could no longer stand the sympathetic gaze of Dr. Weir and let her gaze fall down to her own hands. Her breathing faltered and something, a sob maybe, got caught in her throat as she noticed for the first time that her hands were covered in blood…Rodney's blood. That was when her spacing out hit over drive. The next thing she could remember was Carson looking her over after seeing to Rodney. She could in no way, shape or form account for the hours in between. She had absolutely no idea where she spent the time, how she got there, if she was alone or even what she did.

According to Carson she was fine, though between getting no rest for God knows how long and his obvious fear for Rodney's health, she suspected that he wouldn't have noticed if a Puddle Jumper landed on his toes. He sent her to her quarters to rest when he finished his examination. She had still been too much in the grip of shock to argue with him, or to even notice that he had deftly avoided any and all mention of Rodney's condition, so she went. Looking back now, she realized that the only time Carson said Rodney's name was when she left and he promised to call her if Rodney's condition changed.

Rest. Not likely. Besides the usual rush she had gotten from the rapid evac from the planet, Rodney's injury and the shock, anger and fear she felt because of it, she couldn't even think about rest. She managed to stay in her quarters for an hour before coming here, to be with him.

She was startled out of her reverie by a hand landing on her left shoulder and she nearly jumped up and tackled whoever had the nerve to do it to her, but it was one of only a couple of people who she wouldn't do it to: Sheppard…luckily for him he was one of them. Plus, she still really didn't want to let go of Rodney.

He held up his hands in wide-eyed surrender and whispered, "Sorry, Lieutenant. I didn't mean to give you a heart attack. I couldn't sleep and I wanted to check on him."

_"Sheppard?"_ thought Rodney. _"Go home and get some sleep. Your hair will look funny, and by funny I mean unusual, no, different…yes different, if you don't let it rub against a pillow for a couple of hours."_

Laura waited for her wits to sufficiently calm down before she responded. She looked at Sheppard and said quietly, "It's okay, sir. I just didn't hear you coming, that's all."

"How is he, Lieutenant?" She could see that Sheppard was tired, bordering on exhausted. It was late and it had been a pretty hectic day to say the least, and she doubted that he got any more rest than she did. He sat down heavily in the chair at the foot of Rodney's bed and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. When he lowered his hands, he blinked a couple of times to clear his vision and looked to her, waiting for an answer.

Laura wasn't sure if she trusted herself to speak so instead she turned away and kept her eyes focused on Rodney. Luckily Sheppard could see what was on her mind.

"It's not your fault, Cadman."

Her head snapped to him, her hair whipping around like a cloak, and she whispered an automatic and unnecessarily harsh, "It was my job to protect him, Colonel!" Tucking her hair behind her left ear with her fingers, she regained her composure and turned back to Rodney. "He was my responsibility and I failed." She looked back to Sheppard. "And because of that he's here."

_"Oh that's a crock!"_ yelled Rodney. _"Crock? Where did that come from? I know it's a word but really…crock? Is that a word worthy of a scientist of my caliber? Hmmn, let's see. Untruth? No, that wouldn't work. Fib or lie isn't right either. Falsehood? No, that implies intent to deceive. Maybe crock works after all."_

She could see Sheppard smile and it added fuel to her anger, but before she could take it out on him, he spoke to her.

"That's not true, Cadman, and deep down you know it." Sheppard shifted in his chair to get a little more comfortable and eyed Cadman, who was looking at him in a slightly peculiar fashion. "Lieutenant, have you ever known McKay to do something that wasn't logical in some way?" Sheppard screwed up his nose. "Wait a second that didn't sound right…let me try again. Have you ever known McKay to do something that didn't he really want to do? I mean, you know how he always gripes and moans about doing things, but he really wants to be the one to do it anyway?"

She had no idea where Sheppard was going with his questions, but she thought about it anyway. "Yes, sir…he usually puts on a big show about not wanting to do things, but it's just that, a show." She turned to Rodney once more and smiled warmly at him. "He doesn't mind being the hero."

Seeing that Cadman knew what he was saying, Sheppard nodded and asked her, "So, what makes you think that this time was any different?"

Laura forced herself to look Atlantis' military commander in the eye. "Because, sir, I…I said something to him that distracted him." She choked back a sigh and added, "And because of it he's here fighting to live."

_"There's a nauseating soap opera in here somewhere,"_ mused Rodney. _"Let's see…a man and a woman…man gets hurt saving woman…woman blames self…so on and so forth…"_

What could he chalk **that** up to?

"Yes, I know," responded Sheppard finally. "And yes, he was distracted by it."

_"Sheppard!"_ yelled Rodney to, well, to himself.

Laura felt a sledgehammer hit her chest. She believed, wholeheartedly as a matter of fact, that she was totally responsible for Rodney getting hurt. Sheppard verifying that for her made it even more painful, just when she thought it couldn't get any worse.

"But," Sheppard added rather emphatically, "I can guarantee that your simple question is not what landed Rodney in that bed."

"Sir. You obviously know what the question was, right?" When Sheppard nodded Laura went on. "And I'm right in saying that Rodney was distracted by it?" Again Sheppard nodded and then folded his arms across his chest. "And it was because of his distraction that he got hurt," finished Laura in a very subdued voice.

_"Wrong!"_ shouted Rodney to himself triumphantly. _"So wrong."_

"I say you're wrong, Cadman," answered Sheppard confidently. "Rodney did what he did because he wanted to. He did what he would have done yesterday, the day before and last week in the same situation, whether he would admit it or not."

_"Not!"_ Rodney thought.

Sheppard unfolded his arms and then leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees and fixing his eyes on Rodney. "I've come to know that man pretty well myself, Cadman. Believe me when I say that you asking him a question, had no bearing on him getting shot." Sheppard took a breath and silently sent an apology to Rodney for saying what he was about to say. "He cares about you, Cadman, and he would have took that bullet for you today whether you asked him your question or not. You two could have had the biggest kind of brawl before we left instead of a civil conversation, and he still would have done it."

A tear slipped silently down Laura Cadman's left cheek as she turned to regard the topic of their discussion.

"He cares about me?" she whispered with a mixture of heartfelt joy and disbelief.

"Oh yes," replied Sheppard surely with a single nod of his head. "He most certainly does. He said so."

Rodney couldn't believe that Sheppard, his best friend, was telling Cadman this. _"Sheppard! When I get out of this I'm shutting off the hot water to your shower for a month!"_

Despite herself, Cadman smiled. "It's what you two were talking about on the planet." It wasn't a question.

"Yes," Sheppard verified anyway. "He told me what you asked and, after a few questions leading him down the right path, he told me that he likes you…a lot, I would say. And that he cares about you."

As Sheppard spoke, Laura's smile widened until a thought occurred to her that brought her smile crashing down. "Still, sir…it wasn't the time to ask him. We were going off world where we know that anything can happen. I should have waited." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "It's just…we've been dancing around each other for weeks, acting like a couple of idiotic high school students who just annoy each other because they like one another, and I couldn't take it anymore. I had to know so that I could figure out what to do. It just seemed like the perfect time, so I took the bull by the horns and went with it." She laughed a short and mirthless laugh. "I smiled at him in the gate room, and he smiled back at me." She looked at Sheppard with a smile on her face. "It was the first time that I smiled at him and he smiled back with a real smile, not one of those fake ones you give someone out of a sense of obligation or courtesy." She looked back to her and Rodney's combined hands. "And I had to ask him."

Sheppard got up and moved to Cadman's left. "Yes, you probably could have picked a better time to mention it to him, but my point still stands, Cadman." He put his right hand on Cadman's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "He would have done what he did regardless, because he cared for you before you asked him the question and he wouldn't want to see you, or anyone, get hurt." Sheppard let loose a snort of laughter and added, "He might have even done it for me."

As Cadman and Sheppard shared a very short laugh at that, Rodney thought, _"I might have before, you Kirk clone, but I wouldn't count on it in the future." _After a fleeting thought he added, _"Assuming that I wake up, and if I do that I remember any of this in which case I…never mind. My head hurts."_

"Trust me, Cadman," said Sheppard as he took his hand from her shoulder and hooked his thumbs in his belt, "you are in no way responsible for any of this."

Cadman nodded, still not totally convinced.

"Besides," added Sheppard with a deflating sigh, "I blame myself."

Rodney internally muttered a disbelieving, _"Oh please,"_ as Cadman turned her head to look at Sheppard.

At Cadman's dubious look, Sheppard explained. "I'm the team leader, Cadman. You said that Rodney was your responsibility." Sheppard slowly shook his head. "He wasn't. You and Teyla were supposed to watch over the engineers, which you did exceptionally well by the way." He turned to regard Rodney with an apologetic look on his face, and the apology filtered into his voice when he spoke again. "I was with him. I was watching him and I left him alone and told him to get to the gate."

"And he did, sir," said Cadman.

"Yes he did," agreed Sheppard as he turned to look her in her eyes. "But besides all of that, I'm the military commander of Atlantis. It's my responsibility to anticipate trouble, to see the big picture and to ensure the safety of my team." He smiled sadly at Cadman then looked back to Rodney. "I let my guard down, and that's why he's in that bed."

_"Hello, I am capable of thinking for myself, you know?" _admonished Rodney silently. _"I make my own decisions all the time and have been doing it long before I met either of you. Really, I'm not a kid you know?"_

Forgetting her own guilt for a moment, Cadman regarded the Colonel. "I'm a Marine, sir, and I understand the responsibilities that commanders carry with them, but you couldn't have known what was going to happen. The intel reports were all clear and suggested a quiet mission." Her face hardened to show her CO that there was no doubt that she was right.

Sheppard sighed and his shoulders slumped slightly in defeat. "But I should have known what was going to happen."

Cadman's response was automatic. "You can't tell the future, Colonel. There was no way you could have known what…" she hesitated when Sheppard smiled, straightened up and gave her a triumphant knowing look. Realization dawned on her as her mouth finished the thought that her brain had already abandoned in light of Sheppard's ploy, "…was going to happen." Her breathing hitched momentarily and then she repeated, "You can't tell the future."

Sheppard's smile turned into a goofy grin. "No, Lieutenant…I guess I can't." He raised his right hand and pointed at her. "And neither can you," he added and once again hooked his thumb in his belt.

_"Oh, he's good,"_ admitted Rodney with a hint of admiration. He was glad no one else could hear his inner thoughts. The last thing he needed was Sheppard knowing that he said that!

Cadman's lips curved upward into a tentative smile as she said, "You're good, sir."

"I know," responded Sheppard as though she had just stated something blatantly obvious.

Laura laughed softly and gazed once again at Rodney's pale face. "Thank you, sir."

"You're welcome. It's late, Cadman," Sheppard said as he stifled a yawn of his own. "Go to your quarters and get some sleep." Cadman shot him a murderous look and he held up his hand to forestall the impending argument. "I'm making that an order, Lieutenant. I've already taken you off the duty roster for the next couple of days so you can be with Rodney, so go home, get some rest and come back in the morning. That way Carson won't kick your ass out of here when he comes in, and you know he will if he knows you've been here all night. Besides," he added with a smile, "Rodney would never let you live it down if he found out that you spent the night watching over him."

That got another smile out of Laura. "I'd give anything to hear him needle me about it…about anything right now. I just don't want to leave…"

"Tell you what," interrupted Sheppard. "I'll call you if anything changes. I promise."

Laura looked at Sheppard, and seeing sincerity in his eyes, and feeling bone tired herself, she reluctantly agreed to go. She nodded at Sheppard then turned to Rodney. She leaned in close to him and whispered next to his ear, "I'll be back first thing in the morning, Rodney. I…" she hesitated and sensed when Sheppard moved away a couple of steps, granting her some privacy which she truly appreciated. "I need you to wake up, Rodney. I…I really need that." She leaned in the extra inch and placed a tender kiss against his right cheek, lingering there for a moment, just letting her lips rest against his skin there.

After a moment, Cadman got up and slowly, nearly against her will, let go of Rodney's hand. She stepped towards the door and looked at Sheppard. Before she could say anything, he spoke. "I promise, Lieutenant. Any change at all and you're the second person I call after the nurse."

Laura nodded and headed to the curtain. She paused and looked back at Rodney, reconsidering her course of action when Sheppard stood in front of her and blocked her view. "Go Cadman…that's an order."

Cadman smiled at the goofy smile Sheppard had on his face when he said that and nodded once. She was five steps away from the curtain when Sheppard's hushed call made her stop and turn around. Sheppard was there, half inside and half outside looking at her.

"For the record, Cadman," Sheppard said softly with an earnest smile, "that wasn't the first time Rodney smiled at you because he wanted to." Laura's furrowed brow made it obvious that she didn't understand so Sheppard added, "There have been many times when Rodney smiled at you… he just made sure you weren't looking to see them."

Laura opened her mouth to pretty much call her CO a liar when he nodded and said, "Trust me. I've seen it…many times." With that Sheppard disappeared inside the curtain and Laura turned around slowly to go to her empty, cold and lonely quarters, wondering the whole journey down there what she would do if anything ever happened to the man she might very well have fallen in love with.

Sheppard, in the meantime, sat down in the seat that Cadman had vacated, folded his arms across his chest again and looked at his friend. "You better wake up, Rodney, because that woman has defied the laws of the universe and fallen for you, and she will be devastated if you don't." Sheppard leaned in a fraction and added, "And then I'll have to kick your ass."

_"Hehehe. Kick my ass. You gotta be kidding…well, okay…you could, but if I don't wake up then that means I'm dead in which case you wouldn't be able to kick anything…so there."_ He didn't admit, even to himself, that he would do anything, give anything, to keep from hurting Cadman. Rodney sighed internally. _"I gotta try to wake up…"_


	3. Chapter 3

For everyone who has been looking for an addition or conclusion to this, sorry it took so long. Between literary distractions and real life, it's been a struggle. Yet here it is. I would also like to thank whoever nominated this fic in the 'Stargate Fan Awards.' Bless your heart. As I understood the rules at the time, unfinished stories were ineligible, but I very much appreciate the sentiment. Thanks also to those of you who have taken the time to review.

Thanks to L.E. McMurray for looking this over. Your work and advice is very much appreciated. I changed it a little after you saw it, again. Can't seem to stop tinkering.

The phrase '_Rage, rage against the dying of the light'_ in this chapter is, of course, from Dylan Thomas', "_Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night_".

Thanks for reading.

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Rodney listened with some amusement as Sheppard told him for the twelfth time that he had to wake up. While hearing the same thing over and over again was terribly annoying to Rodney, he was tickled, yes tickled, at the way in which Sheppard was talking to him. For nearly four hours, Sheppard had been explaining why waking up was very important, and for four hours Sheppard had been making his case as though he were talking to a five year old, not one of the most brilliant men in two galaxies…if not **the** most brilliant.

It was amusing.

Something to chalk up to being unconscious.

Then again, what was really and truly amusing to Rodney was the fact that he was missing something, something that he had only had for a very short time. The way Laura held his hand was so incredibly comforting, especially when what replaced it was Sheppard's annoying drawl buzzing in his ears. Really, did he have to talk like that?

Rodney mentally shook himself off that train of thought and forced his mind to focus on Cadman. _"What was I thinking about? Right! The way her hand felt in mine."_ Comforting was definitely the proper way to describe what he felt as her slender fingers caressed his hand.

He wasn't sure what his face was doing, he was unconscious after all, but he knew as sure as knew the atomic mass of Cadmium was 112.411(8) that he was smiling on the inside.

Rodney took a second to remember his various contacts with Cadman since her arrival on Atlantis. Their first meeting was rather nondescript, taking place in a one of those revolting 'meet the new crew member get-togethers' Elizabeth liked to force him to go to. It was her insistence on his attendance at those meetings that told him that Elizabeth did indeed have a seriously mean streak in her. It was Sheppard who introduced them, if he recalled correctly, and he was pretty sure he was remembering correctly. He didn't think much of it, or her for that matter, thinking that all he needed was another gun toting Marine with a penchant for blowing things up to look after him.

He mentally giggled at that thought- on their last mission it was the other way around.

They had a number of meetings, _"Though perhaps run-ins would be a better description,"_ he thought, in the time between their introduction and their by now infamous last mission, but they all seemed to be inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. He often dismissed her as unimportant and, yes, very worthy of his contempt, usually dismissing her out of hand and, when forced to deal with her directly, with exaggerated snark.

Their shared body experience only proved to exacerbate their relationship. Rodney giggled again, for whatever they had up to that point was hardly worthy of being called a relationship. Hell, it was barely worthy of being called an acquaintance. At any rate, the fact that she had as intimate knowledge of him as anyone he had ever been with physically simply unnerved him and that was initially a thing to be feared.

She knew as much about him in the short time that she was in his head as anyone he'd known in his life, Jeannie included.

The question for him was: when did that become something other than something to be scared of?

Certainly it had scared him at first, and her penchant for driving him insane with her little innuendos and teasing only added fuel to that already combustible fire.

"_When did someone knowing me so well become a good thing?"_ he asked himself. _"How well do I know her?"_

What did he know about Cadman? He knew the basics, of course, on a relatively small base like Atlantis who didn't? She was a Marine; an expert in explosives and demolition, and someone who liked to run and play poker. She loved to jog and box and basically stay in shape, and he had to admit she was in beautiful shape, truly aware for the first time that he actually had noticed. She was close to her parents and loved dogs.

But what he hadn't told anyone, not a single solitary soul, not even Sheppard and most certainly not Cadman herself, was that the pipeline of knowledge that existed between him and her during the dart episode wasn't totally one-way. Certainly Cadman had the lion's share of the information exchange, but he hadn't been left empty-handed, so to speak.

There were no specifics- he wasn't in her mind after all- but he could sense certain things about her. He could feel her profound sadness when she volunteered to vacate his mind and set her own consciousness upon oblivion to save his life, yet behind the sadness was the firm conviction that it was the absolute right thing to do: there was no doubt…no regret. He caught a small glimpse of her passion when she used his body to kiss Carson, and now that he thought about it if that brief sensation was just the proverbial tip of the iceberg, her passion ran very deep indeed. He felt how much she wanted his relationship with Katie to succeed when she helped him with his and Katie's date, and he knew her assistance wasn't given out anything but a sense of friendship and her not wanting to see him alone. There were other feelings and sensations he picked up from her as well, like friendship and affection for those around her, and sincere gratitude for those who were trying to help them. It all gave him snapshots into what Laura Cadman was all about, and the more he thought about it over the weeks and months after the incident, the more he realized that she wasn't all that bad after all. In fact, if he were to be honest with himself from the beginning he would have realized that there was a lot to like about her.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" asked Sheppard.

"_I __**am**__ in bed you funky-haired…"_

"Couldn't sleep," answered a brusque voice, causing Rodney to stop his insult in mid-sentence and say to himself, _"Oh."_

"What about you?" asked Ronon. "You've been here all night."

Sheppard crossed his arms across his chest and screwed up his nose at the big Satedan. "I have not been here all night, thank you very much."

Ronon grunted as an indication that he didn't believe Sheppard and moved to sit in the chair at the foot of Rodney's bed. After settling his large frame in the chair and stretching out his legs, he jutted his chin towards Rodney and asked, "No change?"

Sheppard sighed and shook his head. He looked back at Rodney. "You know, I'd give just about anything for him to wake up, look at me and tell me to get the hell out of here and let him rest."

Ronon grinned for a second and nodded. "Beauty sleep."

"_Oh come on! Like I need beauty sleep!" _exclaimed Rodney. _"Besides, it's not like it would be the first time you two miscreants have kept me awake. I've lost count of the number of times…"_

"Yes! Beauty sleep!" exclaimed Sheppard as he pointed his finger at Ronon excitedly. He folded his arms again and smiled widely as he said, "Of course I'd be obligated to inform him that no amount of rest would improve the way he looks."

"_Why you pointy-haired…"_

"He'd insult you," added Ronon gruffly, the certainty and amusement that laced that gruffness made inner Rodney grunt in amusement.

"_Yes…well, maybe Cadman isn't the only one who knows me too well."_

Sheppard nodded knowingly. "About my hair, most likely." He tentatively reached up and gently grazed the top of his head. "I have no idea why though."

"Yes you do," replied Ronon with his usual bluntness, causing Sheppard to shoot him a dirty look. Ronon shrugged nonchalantly. "You do."

Only mildly deflated and deciding against making any comments about Ronon's do, Sheppard stood up and stretched the kinks out of his back and neck, wincing and grunting from the pain that he hadn't really been expecting.

"Go home, Sheppard," said Ronon with more than a little amusement in his voice. "I'm staying."

Sheppard shot Ronon another dirty look and sat back down on his seat with more care than he intended to show in front of Ronon. "Come on, McKay," said Sheppard softly. "You've gotten enough attention over this. Stop being a goof off and wake up."

"_I __**have**__ been trying, Sheppard!"_ exclaimed Rodney.

"Give him time, Sheppard," said Ronon with amusement tingeing his voice for a moment. The amusement left and he added, "He always pulls through. He just needs time."

"Yeah, well time isn't something he's got a lot of," answered Sheppard as he glanced to the monitors.

"_No, really? Damn it, Sheppard, I want to open my eyes and tell you to get the hell out of here! I want to open my eyes and see Cadman! I want to open my eyes and tell you all that I'm fine and want to go back to work, even if it isn't true! I want to open my eyes and tell Cadman how I feel about her! I want to tell her that I think I love her! I want to …wait a second…WHAT!" _Rodney stopped his internal rant and thought about what he'd just said. Did he really just say that he loved Laura Cadman?

He wasn't even sure he knew what love was, really. He had long ago admitted to himself that the attraction he had to Sam was more of an infatuation with her blond beauty and her equally beautiful mind. Other romances, and he used the term loosely, were all instances of infatuation to various degrees, and usually instances where the lady in question showed interest in him first forcing him to deal with it.

He loved his sister of course, but needless to say that had absolutely nothing to do with his current situation.

He actually looked the definition of love up once, a long time before he came to Atlantis. The definition was long and slightly complex as there were various forms of…

"_Oh stop it!"_ growled Rodney. He knew Sheppard was right and that there was no way he could analyze himself to any sort of resolution where his feelings were concerned. He also knew that the questions that Sheppard had asked him before the attack were all valid, and his responses to those questions were more than enough to answer those questions.

Rodney could feel his heart rate increase, not so much from hearing the up-tempo beeping monitor next to his bed as he could feel it thumping in his chest.

He had his answer: he loved Laura Cadman.

Heaven help him…not that he believed in Heaven, or Hell for that, though being cooped up in a Puddle Jumper with Sheppard for three hours after he'd digested four or five of those bean burritos he loves so much is pretty hellish.

"_Maybe I could enhance the air filtration system on the Jumper,"_ he thought. _"It would only be a matter of tweaking the power supply and adding…wait! What am I doing?!?! Now is not the time to think about Sheppard and his disgusting bodily functions! I gotta wake up."_

A white dot seemed to appear suddenly in the darkness and he instinctively tried to embrace it. _"Wait a minute! The light is supposed to mean…no, run from the light!_"

"Rodney!" he heard Sheppard say somewhat excitedly. Rodney heard a flurry of scuffling and he sensed that both Sheppard and Ronon were now by his side. The show of comradeship by the two men drowned out the fact that the heart monitor's beeping was steadily increasing its rhythm.

"Rodney, take it easy." Sheppard glanced to the monitor which now had more lights flashing than before. Sheppard didn't have a clue what any of them meant, but he knew it couldn't be good. He turned to Ronon. "Go get the nurse!"

"_Gotta wake up…gotta wake up…gotta wake up,"_ he repeated as he heard Ronon pass roughly through the curtain. It was so hard, like swimming through quicksand.

"_Gotta wake up…gotta wake up…gotta wake up,"_ the mantra went on, even as the first sliver of light pierced the daze that he had been in. _"My eyes are opening!! Come on! You can do it, Rodney! GO! GO! GO!"_

His eyes fluttered open and he could see Sheppard leaning towards him.

"Rodney, take it easy. It's okay. You're okay. Open your eyes, Rodney. Come on. You can do it. Wake up!" Sheppard reached over and touched Rodney's shoulder. He was about to implore Rodney once again to open his eyes when a shrill audio alert from the monitor stopped him.

Ignorant of the alert, Rodney tried to speak, but wasn't sure if anything made it past his parched lips. He opened his mouth to try again when something happened. Something seemed to pop in his chest, spreading a searing heat throughout his body. His mind tried to search through his vast catalog of knowledge to attempt to figure out what had happened, but the answer escaped him. It seemed as though everything stopped for a spilt second, then started again, moving forward with an agonizing slowness. He felt his eyes shut and the fight went out of him.

"_Oh crap…that can't be good,"_ he thought with increasing disgust. Then something occurred to him. _"Shouldn't I be scared or something? I am dying after all. Shouldn't I be screaming, fighting, crying, whimpering, complaining…something? Rage, rage against the dying of the light or something pathetically poetic like that?"_

The light seemed to get a little brighter, a little warmer and a lot more inviting. Suddenly finding himself exhausted, Rodney thought, _"Maybe I'll just rest for a second and try again later. Chalk it up to being lazy."_

----------------------------------

Sheppard stepped back only when Carson, after telling him to move twice without success, grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him away from Rodney's bedside. He stumbled back to the curtain and was about to move back towards the bed when Ronon's massive left arm shot out and blocked his path. When he looked to Ronon the bigger man simply shook his head.

Sheppard nodded in acquiescence after quickly calculating that the odds of taking out Ronon were very slim. That and the fact that the Satedan was right.

Sheppard's attention shot to one of the male nurses who said that it didn't look good. Sheppard was about to let the man have it when Carson said firmly, "I'll have none of that talk here! We're not giving up, Rodney. Do you hear me?"

Sheppard looked to Rodney, hoping that the man would look at Carson and answer him.

But he didn't.

"Call her," Ronon said in his right ear.

Sheppard turned to look at Ronon and gave him a puzzled look.

"Cadman," elaborated Ronon. "She needs to be here."

Sheppard nodded, angry at himself for not thinking about it. He stepped through the curtain and headed to the far end of the Infirmary away from Rodney's bed. After looking around to make sure no one could hear him, he reached up to his ear and activated his earpiece. "Sheppard to…" He stopped and lowered his hand. He promised he'd call her, but he was worried, really worried, about how she'd react to what he had to tell her. He shook his head resolutely. He promised her. His hand shot up to his ear and he quickly, as though afraid he'd chicken out again, said, "Sheppard to Lieutenant Cadman." He wasn't at all surprised when she responded immediately.

'Yes, Colonel.'

Sheppard grimaced at the hopefulness in the young Marine's voice. "Cadman…" He hesitated for moment and then said, "Rodney…he's taken a turn for the worse." He glanced back to the curtain and for a long moment he said nothing. He had no idea what to say really, until he realized that, "He needs you."

He heard the click in his earpiece signaling the closure of the channel and he couldn't help but smirk. Yeap…she had it bad for his friend. He walked back to the curtain and waited for her.

He didn't have to wait long. It was only a minute later when she ran full throttle into the Infirmary. She was a bout to barge right past him into Rodney's enclosed space when Sheppard stepped in front of her and put his hands on her shoulders to try to calm her down. He had been suspicious of her location when he contacted her, but the thin glean of sweat on her brow, her slight panting and the rapid pulse that he could feel even in her shoulders told him that she had run at a dead heat from her quarters to the Infirmary.

"Cadman," he said quietly, "something happened. Ronon and I were talking when he seemed to try to wake up." He had faced his share of dangers in his time in Atlantis, like the Wraith, the Genii, and God knows how many others and he liked to think he'd faced them all bravely, or at the very least with a certain amount of humor. Yet, as he looked into the hazel eyes of Laura Cadman, he realized that he'd rather face any enemy than be where he was at that particular moment. "He opened his eyes for a moment, and he tried to say something, but something happened and the monitors went bananas. Ronon got the nurse and I came out here to call you." Sheppard leaned in closer to Cadman and asked, "Ready?"

Laura took a deep breath and released it as she tucked her somewhat wayward strawberry blond hair behind her ears. She looked her CO in the eyes and nodded quickly.

Sheppard gave his own nod in response and after giving her a reassuring squeeze of the shoulders stepped aside and pulled the curtain back to give her access. He followed her in and moved to stand by Ronon, who evidently had remained rooted to his spot, out of the way yet close to his team mate.

Cadman hadn't gone far when she stopped. When Sheppard had called she had hoped with all her might that he'd been calling to tell her that Rodney had woken up. When he told her the news she sprinted to the infirmary on pure reflex. Now that she was here she had no idea what to expect or what to do. She looked over to where Rodney lay, now partially un-obscured by nurses or doctors. He looked a little paler than he had when she'd left, but otherwise appeared no different.

She brought her arms up and hugged herself, attributing the sudden chill she felt to the sight of Rodney looking so weak.

"Laura."

The voice of Carson Beckett coming from right beside her got her attention. She turned to look at the man facing her and managed a small smile when she saw the concern in his eyes. "Carson."

Carson put his right hand gently on her shoulder. It was a tender and reassuring touch she had felt quite a few times, yet never before had it meant so much to her as it did now. "He's stable," he said with a kind smile. "I think he started to come around and it was too much for him. He may have even regained consciousness for a moment, and became aware that he was waking up which caused an increase in his heart rate." Carson's smile turned somewhat sly as he added, "You know how excitable Rodney can get." He looked to Sheppard and Ronon. "That's why the alarms went off, by the way." He turned back to Cadman and smiled again. "It's good news, love. It means he's making progress and that he's not in a coma."

Carson moved his hand to rest between Laura's shoulder blades and applied just enough pressure to get her moving towards Rodney's bed. When they reached the bed Carson reached over and pulled the stool that Sheppard had been using closer to the bed, then maneuvered Cadman onto it.

"Talk to him, Laura," he said softly. "It's the best medicine he could get right now." He smiled again and then turned to leave.

"Carson?" Laura said quietly.

"Aye, love."

She looked up into his eyes, managed a grateful smile and said with all the sincerity she could muster, "Thank you."

Carson nodded and moved off to talk to Sheppard and Ronon, leaving her alone with Rodney. She focused her attention solely on him. It could have been her imagination, but it looked like some color had come back to his cheeks since her arrival. She smiled despite herself and reached over to take his hand, and then silently prayed that the abrasive, obnoxious, condescending man she loved would wake up.

----------------------------------

Warm. Safe. Alive.

"_Alive? Well of course I'm alive. I wouldn't be talking to myself if I was dead, would I? Really, Rodney…you have got to try to keep on top of these things."_

Rodney tried to shake off the dark fog that had enveloped him with a little success. He was still tired, but something had changed. He could hear voices, muffled sounds really, but he knew they were voices. He tried harder to concentrate on the voices, to clear them up so that he could identify who was still with him. It took some time, or at least it seemed like it did, he really couldn't tell, but the voices finally started to filter through.

"_Hmnnn. Let's see: Carson telling Sheppard and Ronon that I could wake up at anytime…and I don't hear anyone else. Really Carson, go sharpen some of those voodoo pins you use to so expertly torment me. As for you, Kirk, go find some poor, unsuspecting and horribly innocent female to sharpen your wiles on. And I'm fairly certain Conan can find some new Marine arrivals to beat up. I mean really, are Elizabeth and Teyla the only ones who can find something to…"_

"Rodney."

"…_do?" _Laura's voice sounded like a beacon in the remaining haze that still clouded his usually sharp mind.

"_Oh…that's why I feel warm and fuzzy all over,"_ he said with an internal snort of laughter at his own choice of words. _"Who knew that being in a near comatose state would lower one's vocabulary to 'warm and fuzzy all over'. And by one I mean me. I mean really!"_

"Its okay, Rodney," Laura said softly and, he realized, close to his ear. "You rest and take your time. There's no rush, we're…I'm not going anywhere."

Rodney's first instinct was to tell her that that was a fib…she'd eventually have to get something to eat, or go to the bathroom or something. For reasons that were somewhat alien to him however, what he actually thought was, _"And I don't want you to. Stay…please stay."_

"I will, Rodney, I promise," she said, and for a moment he thought he'd actually said something.

But he knew he hadn't, and he wouldn't until he woke up.

Rodney focused all his energy on the soft, gentle and dared he say loving caresses her fingers were giving his hand. He never would have thought that he could derive so much comfort, so much strength from something as simple as a touch from Laura Cadman, but there was no denying the fact that he was indeed getting stronger. And he sure as hell felt a lot better.

He tried to open his eyes as he had earlier, but unlike his previous attempt this time seemed to be easier. There was no swimming through quicksand as the first flutter of his eyelids allowed some light in; there was no increased beeping or alarms that went off as he realized that he was waking up; there were no calls of alarm from Sheppard, only the fortifying knowledge that if he kept going and opened his eyes he would be able to see her.

His eyes blinked as they tried to adjust against the brightness of the infirmary lights. _"You think Carson would be more sympathetic to someone trying to wake up from an unconscious state,"_ thought Rodney. _"Why would anyone want to open their eyes if they were going to receive possibly permanent retina damage from the excessive lighting in here?"_

Finally his eyes stayed open for longer than one second. Oddly enough, Cadman hadn't even noticed that he was awake. _"Typical!" _thought Rodney. _"I wake up after who knows how long and she isn't even paying attention to me!"_

He commanded his eyes, and thankfully they obeyed, to look to where attention had been so riveted, and he was instantly sorry for thinking his previous thought. She was looking intently at their hands, hers on top of his, making random patterns against his skin and occasionally intertwining their fingers for a moment.

He concentrated on his hand, thinking of his muscles and synapses as thought they were hardware and command pathways, and tried to move his thumb against her finger. He didn't look to see if his finger had moved, and he couldn't reliably feel that it had moved, but he didn't need to. The way her head snapped up and her eyes instantly locked onto his was proof enough.

Of course, her squeal of delight could have been a hint too. He looked past her shoulder to see his team, Carson and Elizabeth, his friends, smiling widely as they looked at him. _"When the hell did Teyla and Elizabeth get here? Where was I when that happened? Oh right… slightly unconscious."_

"Hey there," whispered Cadman. "Welcome back."

He could sense the relief in her voice, which must have been considerable as he usually never could tell what someone was thinking or feeling just by listening to them. He looked into those eyes that he'd longed to see for what seemed like a very long time and tried to speak through his bone-dry lips. Laura frowned and shook her heard to tell him that she didn't hear him and then moved closer to him, turning her right ear towards his mouth in the process. When he tried again, she smiled and turned to look at him, her eyes brimming with unshed happy tears.

"Lieutenant?" asked Sheppard from behind her.

Keeping her eyes locked on Rodney's, she said with a voice that was full of happiness, "He said, 'Show's over. Get out.'"

After a moment Sheppard laughed, and was joined in short order by Carson, Elizabeth, Teyla and even Ronon. When the laughter subsided a few moments later they all muttered hasty good-byes and filed through the curtain, Sheppard being the last to depart. He hesitated at the curtain and spared one last look to his friend and the woman sitting next to him, holding his hand so lovingly. He hadn't heard what Rodney said, but Cadman's reaction suggested to him that perhaps Rodney had said something a little more profound than, 'Get out'. With a final shake of his head Sheppard passed through the curtain and ran to catch up with the others.

After she heard Sheppard leave, Laura took a quick look around to make sure they were alone and then looked into Rodney's eyes, leaned in close once again and whispered, "I love you, too, Rodney." She narrowed her eyes and added ominously, "But if you ever scare me like that again…"

Rodney closed his eyes as Laura finished her open-ended threat and then gently rested her forehead against his. _"Hmn. I never thought I would ever feel…I never imagined it could…chalk it up to being in love, I suppose."_


	4. Epilogue

Hello all. This hasn't been gone over by a beta (seemed short enough not to bother anyone with it), so all mistakes are mine. I may very well regret that. ;)

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"This is humiliating," grumbled Rodney as he was wheeled unceremoniously to his quarters by Sheppard, who in Rodney's opinion was enjoying his discomfort way too much. Carson had grudgingly agreed to let Rodney go back to his quarters, providing someone agreed to stay with him for the first few days, just to make sure that he didn't over do it and ruin the wonderful progress he'd made.

After two weeks of non-stop babying, poking, prodding and painful tests he was certain Carson made up just for him, the last thing he needed was a babysitter hovering over him in his own home, as it were. To add insult to injury Carson demanded, under threat of rescinding his approval to allow him to go home, that he be transported to his room by wheelchair.

"_Chalk it up to Carson being mean spirited,"_ thought Rodney as they rounded the corner. _"We all think he's a swell guy, but deep down he's a bully."_ He didn't believe it for a second of course, but still.

"Here we are, Rodney," announced Sheppard jovially as he brought the wheelchair to a stop with exaggerated care in front of the door. "Home, sweet home. Do you want to do the honors or…"

Before he had a chance to finish, Rodney jumped up out of the chair and passed his hand over the panel, causing the door to slide open. He walked inside and said curtly, "Good night," before the door closed behind him.

Rodney stood three feet inside the door and counted, "1…2…3…4 and 5."

Right on cue the door slid open and Sheppard poked his head inside. "Okay, Mr. Grumpy Gown," Sheppard said, using the new nickname he thought of when Rodney first managed to get out of his infirmary bed and gave everyone a show they hadn't paid for. "I'll take this wheelchair back down to the infirmary and be right back."

The door slid shut, leaving him alone in his semi dark quarters. Everything was just as he had left them on the morning of his last mission. His laptop was still on his desk and powered up; his favorite coffee mug sat next to the laptop; and one of his uniforms still sat neatly folded on his chair. Even the dirty sock he dropped was still in the same spot on the floor by the chair.

He took a deep breath and sighed. It was good to be home, and the thought brought an unbidden smile to his lips. Two weeks was definitely far too long to be stuck in the infirmary. He walked over and sat down on the edge of his bed, turned on the lamp that sat on the table next to his bed and then turned to look at the door.

"Two days," he said into the empty room. It had been two long and lonely days since he'd last seen or talked to her. He'd been uninterested in the details when she came to tell him, but Laura had been asked by Caldwell to accompany the _Daedalus_ on some sort of mission that would take about four days to complete. He sighed again and said, "Two days left."

He wasn't really accustomed to missing people, but he sure missed her. He missed her so much it was almost painful.

Since that fateful moment when he opened his eyes and told Laura Cadman that he loved her, they barely spent more than a few hours apart. She would always come in and stay with him, talk to him, tell him bad jokes and keep him informed about what was happening in the city. And in that time he discovered that everything he'd known and discerned about her had been true. He'd even found facets of Cadman that he hadn't even bothered to notice before. At first it disturbed him, that he really didn't know as much about her as he should have, but after a little while he realized that every detail, no matter how minute, every nuance and everything he found out about her only made him fall deeper and deeper for her.

That was sort of disturbing too, but in a nice way.

He gently eased back onto his back and rested his hands upon his stomach. His back was pretty much better, Carson's black magic and some very helpful information from another race who had dealt with the same type of injury as he had sustained did the job.

He stared at the plain ceiling until the door opened again. "I miss her," he said aloud.

"I missed you, too."

Rodney's eyes opened wide and he sat up as quickly he could. It took only a moment for his eyes to find her, but when they did they confirmed what his brain had already figured out.

Laura was standing in the doorway to his quarters, her right hand resting on the doorframe at shoulder level and her left hand at her side holding what appeared to be a duffle bag. Apparently she had come straight to his quarters from _Daedalus_, and for some reason that made him feel very good.

"You're not supposed…I mean you aren't…why are you…," he stopped and tried to organize the flood of thoughts in his mind. The fact that she was smiling as though she was enjoying the fact that she'd managed to knock his socks off only added to his flustering. "_Daedalus_ isn't supposed to be back for two more days," he said when he finally managed coherent speech. He stood up and took a step towards her, concern for her suddenly filling his chest. "What happened?"

Laura walked inside, allowing the door to close behind her. "I'm fine," she answered, hearing as she usually did the unasked question that Rodney didn't or couldn't ask. She restrained herself from jumping into his arms when he relaxed. "Why, Rodney, I didn't know you cared."

Rodney opened his mouth to angrily retort that she knew he did, but the mirth shining in her hazel eyes told him that she was fooling with him. "Hmn…awfully full of ourselves, aren't we Cadman?" He folded his arms across his chest and glanced away before looking at her and stating, "I was simply interested in the ship. It's always nice to know in advance if Zelenka or Caldwell is going to be calling me asking for help or advice about how to fix something as complex as a spaceship." He lifted an eyebrow and asked, "You understand that, don't you Cadman?"

Laura's lips turned upward in a half smile and she walked slowly towards him. When she reached him the smile got wider as Rodney placed his right hand gently upon her cheek. She reciprocated the gesture and said in a way that told him that she meant much more than she was actually saying, "I understand perfectly, Rodney."

He nodded briefly and leaned in towards her, capturing her lips with his for what seemed like the first time, though it was far from it. They pulled each other into an embrace as their kiss deepened, his arms going around her shoulders and her arms going carefully around his back. They lost track of how long they remained in that position…it could have been seconds, it even could have been minutes. Logic told them that it hadn't been hours, but even if it had been it still wouldn't have been long enough for either of them.

Finally their lips separated, though their bodies remained touching. Truly content for the first time in days, Laura rested her head against Rodney's chest and listened the steady and strong beat of his heart, while Rodney rested his chin against the top of Laura's head.

"My nagging finally got to Caldwell," explained Laura, amusement filling her voice. She snuggled into his chest and chuckled. "I think if I asked him one more time when we were coming back he'd have thrown me in the brig."

Rodney had borne a fair amount of Laura's pestering in his time, so he could just imagine what she put Caldwell through. The fact that Caldwell showed some restraint and hadn't thrown her in the brig, or tossed her out the nearest airlock, caused his respect for the Colonel to edge up a notch.

He just stood there and reveled in the feeling of having Laura back with him…the wonderful and beautiful feeling of having her home. He cleared his throat and hugged her tighter. "Welcome," he hesitated for a second, "welcome back."

She smiled and looked up to him, hazel eyes meeting blue ones as she said knowingly, "It's good to be home."

"Yes," he agreed after a second and with a smile he seldom used and was rarely seen by anyone, "home."

He didn't know what he could chalk that up to, and it only took Laura's smile and the kiss she gave him to make him realize that he really didn't care.

THE END.

Well, so ends my first foray into Stargate Atlantis fanfiction. Thanks to everyone who followed this little bout of insanity, I hope you all enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and take care.

DWP


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